Perfection...the infection of it....

Typically you will find this blog to be all about SPD and my kiddo who has it. I am going to take a brief, though related, side trip, to talk about a new book I read. It's by an awesome author, whom I have met, named Jill Savage. She is the founder and CEO of Hearts At Home. If you ever wondered what a mothering community looks like-you do not need to look further. I have read many books written by Jill and attended their National Conference 4 times. But I digress.......
    The book is called No More Perfect Moms, and you want to buy it the week of February 4th so it gets a big blitz and it hits the New York Times best seller list and reaches more mommas who need to hear about it. But Why? Why would I promote a book like this on a site about SPD. Simple, our lives with our youngins are far from perfect. We have children who act out, or don't and befuddle teachers and other family members. We have stress, weird therapy equipment in our homes, therapies in all different directions, and did I mention stress of all kinds?
   You see....no one has a perfect house, they are just better at hiding the clutter. Or maybe they aren't running to OT, to speech, to swim lessons, to...oh wait, we have another kid who might want to be in something...add that to the list. My house is 121 years old this year. There are some rooms that haven't been updated in 20+ years (like my kitchen and bathrooms). However, I have chosen to stay home with my boys. In hindsight I am so glad I did as my "P" wouldn't have done well in daycare. His semi-seeker of a brother, probably less. We have toys and therapy tools as far as the eye can see, many of which greet you upon entering the front door. I personally struggle with this. I want my house to "look" nice so that people don't think I am a bad housekeeper. I don't change the sheets on the bed each week (thank you Jill for giving me the courage to "say that out loud"). I would rather take my kids to the zoo or a museum than clean. Part of me doesn't like it, part of me says, it will be dirty again in 10 minutes. I could spend my whole day cleaning and organizing and NEVER catch up. Kiddos aren't home with me for long, in fact the baby starts Kindergarten next school year....those zoo trips are important! More important than a clean house. Yet, I am still afraid people will judge me for it. I need to let go of that!
   Perfect kids, well those of us with kids who have SPD and/or autism know, we DON'T have those perfect kids. Or maybe we do. Maybe they are so good and hold it together so well, that people on the outside don't see why we rush from this therapy to that one. However, what those outsiders don't know is that our kids fall apart when they get home.  They don't see that, while yes, my kid gets awesome grades, and does well in school, social situations can be a struggle. Or that yes, he knew how to do that yesterday, but today he forgot. Or that we have to tell him everything that is to come, or he will totally balk at new things....like school spirit week coming up. But here's the thing...other kids have quirks too. No child is perfect...if we didn't clam up all of the time, we might find that out about other moms. They are struggling too. Again, we think other moms will judge us.
  The book also talks about our imperfect bodies. I know mine is laced with stretch marks from 2 pregnancies, and after 2 babies, I "leak" when I exercise. Normal, and fixable (when we have better insurance). There I said it. I have to wear a pad when I run. Judge me if you must, but 1. at least I run; and 2. I bet many of you do too ;) I was also overweight. I joined Weight Watchers nearly 2 years ago to lose 20 pounds. I gained 5 back this fall. I am in the process of trying to re-lose it. It's okay. I stress eat and have hormones aplenty!
   I am not going to "give away" any more of this awesome book. You simply need to buy it. I wonder though....why do we strive for perfection? Why do we let the thoughts we perceive others to have, dominate our lives? Yes, there are those who will judge us negatively. I understand that. But should their opinions out-rank God's? You see His strength is shown in our weakness. His perfection in our imperfection. I think as women we need to lean on other women. We need to let each other know we don't have it all together. And them someone else come alongside us and help us. It will bless us both!