Being Involved, but not "Helicoptoring"

So back to school is BUSY! I don't do "fall sports" with my boys because just getting back into school is enough! However, I did sign them both up for swim lessons, weird I know-but I sign up for NOTHING in the summers too! I prefer playtime to structured time, call me old fashioned. And according to a bunch of new studies, old fashioned is on the cutting edge again...but I digress...

So the big boy wanted to join Cub Scouts, mostly at my prompting. He LOVES it! He loves his uniform, he loves the Den meetings, he loves the Pack meetings, he loved the Rain Gutter Regatta we had last weekend. More over, I think he likes being a part of something. He's fully included. Partly because Momma is the Den leader. Now, I came to this position because there wasn't anyone else stepping up. There are only 4 boys in my Den currently, and since they are Tiger Cubs, their parents have to come with. With my teacher background, planning the meetings are fairly simple (at least to me). But I don't have to worry about how someone else is treating him, I am there with him. I don't give him "special treatment". But I am there, and he likes it that I am there.

I am also one of the room mothers for his classroom again this year. I got my first chance to help in his room a week ago and LOVED it! I got to read the class a story and help with an activity while we celebrated one of the teacher's and Clifford, The Big Red Dog's, birthdays. I get to help in his room, but only when invited (yes I can show up whenever, but don't abuse the privilege). And he still likes it when I show up :) I love being there, but I know that I can't be there ALL the time.

It works well for me to sit down with his teacher before school starts and then once school is going I back off and see how things go. I can contact his teacher at any time. My only concern this year has been his lack of eating much for lunch. Tricky thing to learn to eat in 25 minutes while having fun with your friends. However, he has to learn to do it. My only concern was if it was affecting his afternoon learning and behavior, the teacher assured me it wasn't and so we let it go and I pack less in his lunchbox.

You know what I learn? He can do it. If I constantly stand over him, I undermine his confidence. By me being there 24/7, I send the signal that he can't do it on his own. If the end goal is an independent human being, then I fail him if I am there ALL the time. I think the balance is hard for any parent to learn, let alone those parents of special needs children. And I know it will change over time, and I will constantly be finding a new balance as he grows up. But that is my job as mom ;) And it's a pretty awesome job to have!