This past week when the boy gets mad at me he tells me that he isn't going to be my son anymore. Just yesterday he told me that he was going to run away. He was going to pack up his important things and take a bus. Not sure to where, he didn't say and I am trying to not engage him in this.
Yesterday it was because I tool the Wii away from him. He was getting frustrated, and I told him if he didn't calm down I would turn it off. Well he got mad at that idea and then pounded the remote into the couch! So I turned it off and took the remote from him because he wasn't treating it correctly. I never raised my voice or shamed him. Stayed calm and quiet the whole time ;) (score 10 bonus points for me; whomever keeps score of these things).
I sent him up to his room at the start of the meltdown to get his body under control. Told him that he could come back down when he was calmer. I am not sure if he went all the way upstairs...but the threat of packing and taking a bus followed shortly thereafter. I told him when he was ready I would love to cuddle him. He told me never that he wasn't my son, but was in my lap less than 1 a minute later.
It's hard on my 3 (will be 4 in 10 days) year old son. He was worried that his brother was really leaving. And do I think the older one would be capable of doing it one day? Yep. Am I going to worry about it until then? Nope. I just reassured the little one that big bro was angry and he would calm down. The little one was sweet when I was pretending to threaten him with something tonight (and it was a good something, like tickling) he told me he would always be my son ;) God gave me that one for comic relief ;)
Anyone else with Sensational Kiddos been through this? Advice on how to handle? It's been a rough couple of weeks with a giant sleepover (we took care of friends' kids for 10 days while they chaperoned a band tour out of the country) and now we are on spring break and have been sight seeing, and the week in-between the boy's teacher was out to take care of some family needs. I am not sure if it's all of the "disruptions" or a phase or both. And he does NOT want me to brush him (the brushing therapy)! I am not sure how much to push and how much to let him figure out. The boy will be 7 in June.....
R has never been diagnosed with anything, but I get the "I'm not your son anymore" things now and then. I just tell him that he's stuck - I was there when he was born and he can't change that. He has threatened to run away in the past as well. I've told him to let me know what help he needs and if he needs a bag to pack. With him, I know he's going for my reaction - so I just try really hard not to give it to him. I don't always succeed, but I'm pretty good at not letting him see if his words hurt me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know that it is typical of this age...it's what they do. And that he is very comfortable with me and will totally let go with me and I get all of the ugly. And well, he needs to have someone he can "dump" on.
ReplyDeleteHis dad and I think it's possible that he's going through some sort of developmental/growth spurt.....time will tell ;)
So, Saturday, he was getting an attitude about me wanting to take a picture of him and his brother in their soccer shirts and told me he didn't like it when I bossed him around. Um, excuse me, you are 6, I get to ;) Anyway, I told him that when he spoke to me that way, he was breaking the 4th commandment of Honor thy mother and father-and he was sinning and needed to talk to Jesus about getting a better attitude! He stopped for the day...We'll see how long it lasts....he's VERY legalistic and is always quick to point out when someone else is sinning, so I thought I would turn the tables on him and he what he thought about it......
ReplyDeleteI think that was a good move. You can add in the rest of the verse, too, "so that it will go well with you." =)
ReplyDeleteIt is such a privilege to read about your journey. I have nominated you for an award on my blog (http://peaceitalltogether.blogspot.com)
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog through Sybil, and boy can I relate to this post! My 7 year old has actually run away before - he packed his bag (with the most hysterical things) and then walked out to our barn. I think staying calm and letting him know he is welcome back as soon as he calms down is the most important thing. Also, we get the "I hate you!" whenever my son is reacting to food (usually corn syrup). Once he calms down he feels really bad and is able to work through the emotions (and learn a little about forgiveness). Before we took corn syrup out of our diets, this "I hate you!" happened almost daily, now it only sneaks in less than once a month. www.kimblelife.blogspot.com
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