Deviating a bit from the norm. This post is about the younger one. The one who has no diagnosis, but has his own quirks.....The boy who will be 4 in 3 months and up until 4 days ago required a pacifier to fall asleep. Well, I guess I should say that he got a pacifier to fall asleep. I'm not quite sure he is doing okay without it.
The part that has be so torn is that yes he is almost 4 and still uses a paci-aka a "sucky". I know that it may alter his bite in the orthodontia way. Yes, to my very well meaning family, I know that he needs to learn to self-soothe. I appreciate your concern, I really do. However, you aren't helping us, his parents, when your statements sound judgmental.
He needs melatonin to fall asleep on a good night. Why are we taking away his other "crutch"? He has never been a good sleeper. He has a VERY hard time calming himself down when he gets upset. He's not likely going to go to Kindergarten with it so what is the big deal if he has it? If he sucked his thumb he would do more damage, and it would be harder to break. We limit his time to just nap and bedtime.
And honestly, I am not looking for an answer here. I am not looking for people to tell me that I should give it to him until he's 23, or that I am a horrible mother who should have taken it away before he was a year old. I guess I just need to get it all out to see where I stand. It isn't easy being his mom. And when you combine all of the different needs in my family is this something that really needs to be dealt with now?
I think that if he has another hard time without it, and asks for it. He will get it back and we will try again in a few months. He isn't hurting anyone else by having it and when I told him the paci-fairy could come and bring him a gift. He said that he would rather have the paci back.
After threatening to spank the boy for not laying down and going to sleep, I decided this was stupid and gave him back his "sucky". He's not yet ready....and he will be someday....and I think we will go with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think that's a great choice - not the giving him back his sucky (that part doesn't matter, really), but the listening to his needs and meeting him where he is.
ReplyDeleteThanks MOAB! He's super intense and just has SUCH a hard time settling down....we are out of Melatonin and it hasn't been pretty...just haven't had time to go to the health food store-sans 3 or more kiddos....I see that boy working nights someday, and much to the dismay of his co-workers will be bright, alert, and cheery at 2 am! ;)
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