Some days are just hard....

Though,honestly, the day hasn't been bad...there have just been moments that are hard. I am still in mental recovery from the ER visit this weekend. I know most people can deal with things in a day or two, but I take a little longer...and come to find out we are throwing PMS into this mix and I am kinda surprised I haven't been committed to a padded room yet, or gained 15 pounds....and the boy's family (birthday) party is this weekend, my house is a TRAIN WRECK!

Here's when my mental "train" derailed....about the time that the boy, who has been on clindamycin for 72 hours spiked a 101 fever.....only 5 hours since he last had motrin. I dosed him again and an hour later he was 102.6 :( Poor baby was just shaking and shivering. I got him to take his antibiotic on the first try which he promptly threw up 5 minutes later :(

I have already called his pediatrician and we get to call after 8 am to make an appointment to see him tomorrow. This could be related to the finger injury, however, it's possible we have a stomach virus in addition to the finger injury as his smaller brother did the same thing Sunday night. When the little one did it, we chalked it up to the vaccines he had gotten about 48 hours before and the chaos and sunburn of Saturday....maybe not....

Oh and we leave for vacation in 10 days in Tampa....where the tropical storm is located currently. And I know the storm will be long gone, but this is the 4th named storm and the "season" just started 25 days ago.....now I am really glad I shelled for the trip insurance!

*SIGH*

The injury

So 2 days after the boy turned 7 he and his brother found some chunks of concrete and decided to play with them. Thus landing us in the ER for the first time (with one of my kids). *Sigh* Where to start....I don't know that this post has much direction...I just need to get it out somehow....

First off, my super awesome husband is (today) on his way home from a week long mission trip to Alaska to help teach Vacation Bible School. He missed all of the fun ;) I am super thankful for my friend who is a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and lives 5 minutes away (she also has 5 years ER experience and experience working with children who have Autism). God couldn't have crafted me a better friend for this situation.

I was working in the yard weeding and watering when the boys came out to play. I didn't plant our garden behind the garage this year because we are going to have work done back there. This spring when our electrician trenched a new line to the garage he put the extra concrete back there so it can be hauled away with the rest later. The boys went to play behind the garage and I figured they were digging in the old garden and at 7 and 4, I don't watch them like a hawk like I used to. So it wasn't until I heard the screaming that I rushed back there....

Blood all over his hand, and dripping on the ground. I grabbed him and dragged him to the house with me nearly falling on the way in. This was bad and for once my brain stopped working. I can typically think in an emergency, this time, the thoughts flew so fast I couldn't corral them. I got him to the bathroom sink where I turned on the water to flush the wound and saw it was deep. It was gonna need stitches. I have purposely avoided the ER with my super sensory kiddo, and there was no avoiding it this time. UGH! I ran around the house trying to find my phone and then sent a facebook message to my handy PNP-who thankfully was on facebook and tried to call me and eventually just headed over. She concurred with my thoughts on the hospital. She got a hold of her husband who took my youngest, her 3 year old and her 7 year old, while we took my 7 year old and her 11 month old to the ER. She stayed with us and helped keep us both calm. And I am SUPER thankful for her husband's willingness to take on my extra kiddo and spare his wife as he had them at the baseball field for his 7 year old baseball game, and then played a concert last night 45 minutes from where we live. At the college we all graduated from.  I am also thankful for all of their friends who stepped up to watch the 3 while my PNP's hubby was setting up and playing for the concert. Like my friend said, it takes a village, and sometimes that village is spread out far and wide!

Thankful for living near a big city with a brand new Children's hospital. It was 40 minutes away, but well worth the drive to get to a place where they only treat kids and don't look at you like you have 4 heads when you say he has SPD and is over-responsive. They look for ways to help! The doctor put his sunglasses on him when she turned on the bright light to look at his finger. And it was agreed that he needed to be sedated in order for the work to be done by an orthopedic doctor. Amazingly he cried at certain things but never got so upset he threw up :) He had to have an IV line put in and monitors on him and he weathered it all so well. I was so proud of him. I stayed with him until he was settled, but didn't stay for the procedure. I needed to go have my post-adrenaline cry. I had shed a few tears here and there, but hadn't had time to really let it go. And I still will need a few times to get it all out :( In all they removed the fingernail, put in 6 stitches (that dissolve HOORAY!) and placed a splint in the nailbed until his new nail grows out. Thankfully no broken bones and it's on the pinky finger of his non-dominant hand. Here he is sleeping off the sedation, you can see his bandaged hand.

The next hurdle is the antibiotics....he is on one of the nastiest tasting ones.  Did I mention he is SUPER taste sensitive? It's bitter, really bitter, so we have pills and have tried to open them and put them on food. HORRIBLE!!!! I even tried it-YUCK!!!!!! Again thankful for my handy PNP who can get the boy to swallow the pills, I cannot despite trying everything she does.

So I can say that our first ER experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I really don't want to ever go there again ;) If you live anywhere near Chicago, the new Lurie Children's Hospital is worth the drive for sure!

And then he was 7

Happy Birthday to my big boy that has taught me so much! I hope you enjoyed it and mommy will muse about your 7 years tomorrow...now it's time for bed! :)

AAAAHHHHH Summer

What I recall as happy carefree and lazy days of summer from my youth are not what my son senses....he is stuck in chaos. I have tried to concoct a written schedule, but things happen...like being overtired. We had a week to try and regulate after school was over before Vacation Bible School started at our church. Both the hubby and I help with it, and the boys LOVE going, however, it's a lot for the big one to take in. We had a CRAZY busy weekend before VBS started so that didn't help anyone. We also have a pool pass and it's been 90+ around here for about 6 days, cue going to the pool for an hour or so every day.

I have 2 tired children and one that REALLY doesn't process so well, and it's so much worse when he is tired. Tomorrow will be more of a "down day" but still buys as I have to get my van to the shop, up the street, for brake work; I have a tutoring student, and should take the boys to the library to get their prize for this week. If I am really thinking about it I should get the snacks I need for Bible Study on Thursday as it's the big boy's bday then and I am not sure I will have time that day....and this is a slow day ;)

Somewhere in here I need to clean, the tumbleweed on the floor is gross, and do laundry.....

I dunno that I will ever get the consistency that my son needs in the summer. I hope that there is a positive to this somewhere....I can hope....

I could Homeschool

I have always said I don't think I have the self discipline to homeschool my kids. I am not a big fan of schedules and prefer things a little more loosy-goosy. However, the more time I spend with my oldest son, I realize he NEEDS a schedule, and it can change so long as he knows what is happening.  I realized this a month or so back when I started scheduling his after-school time. He got so much time to unwind when he got home and then he had chores and homework (if the teacher didn't assign any, he got work from me). It works great! He doesn't fuss in the least when it's time to turn off the TV and clean the bathroom or fold clothes or work in his handwriting book. I came to realize I would need to continue this into the summer. Day #1 today (I take weekends off!). We went to the zoo, so that took up most of our day, but that was excersize (he had to walk) and outside time. Once home I knew everyone would need some "rest time" so they got to watch TV but no netflix, wii, or computer time. Then I gave him about 30 minutes on the computer until we could pick up dinner. We love Papa Johns pizza for cheap, quick dinners! After dinner it was chores and homework. Neither child fussed at all.

Summer homework consists of journaling for both boys. My little guy (age 4 yrs 1 month) has a poly-folder with 3 prongs that I inserted blank computer paper. He draws and dictates words to me. The younger one has "scissors" workbook as well as the preschool Handwriting without Tears workbook.

My big guy (age 6 yrs 11 months) has blank pages at the top and double lines (ala handwriting without tears) at the bottom for him to write.  The older one is almost finished with the Kindergarten level of Handwriting without tears, and the 1st grade level (the grade he is going into) should be here within the week. He also has a Kindergarten level math book, but really his only issue this year is knowing the names of coins. It's an easy fix to teach those. If he can tell me the name of the coin and the value, he can keep each coin I show him. I don't think he will be missing too many more.  I also bought a 1st grade "reading book" where you copy the stories to make mini-books, the boy will read it and fill out the comprehension worksheets at the end. Honestly, his ability to read is his strongest asset to him. I intend to keep it that way.

And in our "regular" (non "field trip" days) I am scheduling in time to play outside. And time to play inside (with electronics off).

From what I know of my friends and other blogs I follow, who homeschool, this is what their days look like. Yes, there is more curriculum involved for science and social studies, but I have always sold myself short, saying I didn't think I could. I can and really I do! Not planning to pull the boy from regular school anytime soon. Just happy to know that if the need ever arose, I could do it!

It makes me cry....

I heard about an article bashing SPD. I didn't realize it came from the AAP :( I didn't read it right away because I knew it would just upset me....it did. I am almost in tears. How can you say it doesn't exist? I wish you could have met my son at age 1 when he didn't do joint attention, or at age 2 when speech was slower to come, or at age 3 when he still HATED having his haircut, or at age 4 when we were just starting to potty train. Or now at age 6 almost 7 where is functions just fine in a regular class with regular kids. Don't tell me that the hours of OT didn't work! Don't tell me that brushing him every 2 hours for 6 months didn't help! I saw these things with my own eyes! Other people have seen them too. They have seen my son become a regular kid, with just a few quirks....If you really don't believe me, fund the research. Research the disorder, research the treatment.  Fine, figure out if it's part of what you are now calling the "umbrella" of Autistic Spectrum Disorder....see you people don't have it all figured out either. You, those with white coats who sit on review boards who give the criteria for mental disorders change things every few years. Here's the thing...with all "mental" disorders you are talking about the brain. Yes, there are some things that all people's brains do, but all brains are just a little different. And you (the medical and scientific communities) don't know all there is to know about the brain. So before you go telling me what my son has doesn't exist, spend some time with us and let me enlighten you!

:(

SPD Foundation, link to ABC news article and Dr. Lucy Jane Miller's response

Musings not related to SPD

So today I took the big boy to the grocery store with me. Really it's one of them super-center things, like a super Wal-Mart or Target, but not those stores.....I typically do all of my shopping during the week and usually in the mornings. I needed a few things so we ran together. This store has toys to amuse the boy...but I digress.....

This post is about another mom and her two sons. My son (the small one was at home napping with daddy) and I were in the ice cream aisle, to get ice cream. There was another mom and her two sons, dressed nicely, as if they had just left church. I would guess the boys to be about 2 and 4. Her younger one was in the cart, but kept trying to climb out. The older one had put some ice cream in the cart and she was telling him no. The boy got very upset and began screaming for the ice cream. Mom told him she wasn't getting "that" one, and that there was some in the cart already. She told him it was time to go, and began to walk away. He wouldn't follow her. He opened the door and got the ice cream back out. She tried this again, 2 more times.

At first my brain started judging....kid needs a good talking to, mom should just pick him up....and on....but then I stopped and really thought about it. I felt bad for the boy because at one point she said if you want that ice cream you need to tell daddy to get a better job :( My heart broke for both of them! And while I haven't thought my husband needs to get a better job, I have thought about a job needing to find my husband. I remembered those super scary months when no one in our house had income or employment. I can feel her pain.

And so I decided to take control of my thoughts and offer some compassion. My son and I were done getting our ice cream, and as I walked past her, and her screaming tot, I looked at her and said, "Been there, Done that-I hope that your day gets better after this!" And you know what? You could see her visibly relax ;) She smiled and said thank you. I don't know if the boy got the ice cream he wanted, but I did hear mom talking to him about why he didn't want the one she had. And maybe she just needed a little reassurance that it's okay that kids through a fit in the grocery store, they are kids after all. It was 98 degrees here today and it was about 2:00 in the afternoon...the kid was probably tired. I know that just having someone say that to me, when my kids are having a rough day (usually in church because they are supposed to be kinda still and kinda quiet) makes all the difference to me ;)

So I challenge all of us out there to extend a kind word to the next mom you see struggling in the grocery store or even just a smile. Her kid might not be undisciplined....they might be having a REALLY bad day....your kindness could be all that is needed to turn that around!