Our conversation at bedtime tonight :D

I am remembering this the best I can.....I soooo wish I would have had a recording device!!!!

P:"Mom, Carrie died.  I miss her".  Me, "I know honey, we all do". (Carrie was in his class last year and lost her 6 year battle with a brain tumor this past Saturday at the age of 7 :( We attended her funeral together on Wednesday)

P: "How did she get to Heaven?"; Me:"Jesus came and carried her to Heaven."

P: "How?"; Me:"Well Jesus can do anything, He's amazing.  He carried Carrie, like he carried Grandma Schuller and Grandpa Jerry."

P:" And Mrs. Ullman too." (at this point I am crying-Mrs. Ullman was a beloved Sunday School teacher who died of rare bladder cancer at the beginning of June)"I still miss Carrie."  Me:"I know, and Jesus knows too.  He comes and gives us hugs when we are sad."

P:"He gives us hugs when we are sad with His hands, just like you mom." (momma trying to hold back tears) Me:"Yes, honey, just like that."

P:"Jesus loves us mommy." Me:"Yes, Jesus loves you even more than I do." P:"Jesus loves me like you do, and he takes us to His house in Heaven when we die."

There there was some more conversation about Jesus and prayer and talking to God and Jesus.  Then he comes back with:"Church is God's house.  Our church in Munster, Indiana-you can see his eye (those of you who have been in our church you know that there is a huge stained glass eye shape above the alter). He doesn't talk there because you can't see his other eye or his nose or mouth."  (okay so that had me giggle a bit!)

Then the conversation turned to us on the Earth...worms that live in the Earth.....then to subway trains should be called "earth trains" like worms are called "earth worms".I almost hated to make his little tired brain go to sleep-and still wished I had tape recorded this conversation!

And I also know that I need to not talk like he isn't listening.  He hears it all and processes more than I realize.

I'll even take the meltdown today....

Heaven gained a dear sweet angel on Saturday morning.  Carrie no longer has cancer or pneumonia or a blood infection.  God made her perfect and whole once again.  :(

My son fell into a futon (of his own clumsiness) and has a huge gash in his lower lip (fully inside, no stitches) and knocked his two upper front (baby) teeth loose-neither of the bottom teeth are loose yet.  He is on no gym, recess, or other rambunctious behavior until they heal. :(

Tonight he had an epic meltdown-over not setting the table.  Of which when asked he told me he didn't want to.  I gave his brother the job and he lost it.  Stomping and crying and yelling.  Not wanting to eat dinner.  It took well over a 1/2 hour and me moving his plate back to the counter for him to set, and get his sticker, before he calmed down.

I'm gonna guess one or both of the above problems is triggering this.  Carrie's funeral is tomorrow, we are going.  I decided that the wake would be too much for him this week.  We are also taking him home 1/2 day, as he is on a soft food diet for 7-10 days. :(

But he's here with me, for better or worse.  So is his little brother, who also has been having epic meltdowns-he just got potty trained and started preschool today. Hopefully, we have many more tomorrows.  I'm not sure how I would handle it, if there were no more :(

The Dinner Meltdown-Mine

So we are into the second full week of school. 

I am not back into the "right body clock". 

The toilet overflowed into the kitchen and also into the basement-onto the baby paraphernalia stored down there.

Had to make a weekday run to Target with both boys (who thankfully were really good since I let them bring their wallets and buy something).

I am totally craving tons of chocolate-and not supposed to eat too much since I am doing Weight Watchers to try and get to a healthier weight.

So when the boys protested dinner....I went into a 2 minute lecture about how I was gonna send them to bed, or take their new toys back, if they didn't stop fighting me RIGHT NOW and go eat.  And really eat, not 2 bites and call it done.

Now, I know that "losing it" this way isn't that "bad".  It could have been much worse.  But I still just didn't like myself for a minute.  Did I mention that I wanted to yell at my hubby for not telling me the toilet was going to overflow into the basement? And it is his birthday today! 

And I am trying to potty train the 3 year old as he starts preschool in 6 days! 



Can we say Mommy is on overload?  The SPD kiddo had a rough first week back and took a mental health day on Friday (after vomiting Thursday night-and was TOTALLY fine the next day).  We considered holding off the 4 full days for a while, but have decided to 'stay the course' for now. 

Mommy needs to take some deep breaths, go to bed early, and relax.  It will all work itself.

When we disagree

So the boy isn't dealing with the new school year as well as we had hoped, but better than last year.  We went from 1/2 day Kindergarten, to full day Kindergarten.  His teacher suggested that maybe we back off 4 full days (he is 1/2 day on Friday's due to our OT time), to maybe just 2 or 3 for couple of weeks. I tend to agree.

His father isn't on board with this though.   Now before you start thinking this is gonna be one of those "mommy the gate-keeper bashes daddy" let me tell you, this isn't one of those!  I love my husband and he is an amazing dad.  I value his input and being with me for nearly every conference that we have had for the boy. 

So what do you do?  There are many options available to me.  I can override him and just do what I think is best.  I can just go with his option.  Or we can talk about it; give it a rest; pray about it; and then talk some more.  Right now we are on option #3.  We have talked about it, and we both have valid reasons for our points of view.  We aren't at compromise stage yet, so we are thinking some more and praying.  At some point soon we will "reconvene" and discuss again to see if either has shifted their point.

So what's my point here?  My husband is a powerful ally in this.  I very much value his thoughts and the fact he is willing to go with me and be involved with our sons is best for all of us in the long run!  If I override him, he will stop giving his opinion.  He will stop being so involved because I will be acting as if I don't need him.  When in reality there is nothing further from the truth!  God created 2 parents for a reason, balance.  My boys need need that balance!

Pattern for Weighted Blankets

This is the exact same pattern I used for my boys' blankets.  Someone kindly spelled it all out and took pictures :)

Spreading the word

I was given the gift to share my knowledge of SPD with over 80 Early Childhood Professionals today!  :)  Shared the "this is what SPD is" side along with the "here is what you can do to help these kids" side.  So far, I have heard positive feedback.  It's always hard to put yourself out there, as someone might reject you and what you are saying.  Though I know that all good things involve some sort of risk.  If nothing else 80 more people are talking about it and have some great resources to look up when they have questions about SPD!

I don't normally like surprises, but.....

Last year on our vacation we went on a Dune Buggy Ride near Silver Lake, MI.  I am not sure what I was thinking it would  be like, but it was like riding a roller coaster.  I enjoyed it immensely, and so did both of my boys, including my kiddo with defensive SPD!!!!  Had I known ahead of time what the ride was like, I know I would have vetoed the event, and kept my son from an experience he LOVED and talked about for months.

Fast forward to this year and 8 more months of therapy.  My son, who still has to wear a visor when we wash his hair, learned to "swim" with his life vest on.  We no longer have to hold onto him and reassure him that he will be fine, like we did 2 years ago.  In fact, 2 years ago we had to drag him in the pool, crying and fussing.  Just this past Saturday, he JUMPED into the 5 ft end of pool!!!!!  He didn't announce it or otherwise let us know he was gonna do it, he just did it! He was wearing his vest so he popped right back up, spluttering a bit. He then happily announced I went under the water and didn't cry!  No but his momma did a bit-I was so proud of him!!!!  He only did it that one time, but that was one more time that I ever thought he would do! Maybe it's time to try swim lessons again?

What does all of this mean for me the momma? I am learning not to "over-protect" him.  This is so hard for me to learn!  When he jumped in the pool, I told my husband, who was closer to him at the time, to grab him as he came up.  My husband told me to "chill out" that our son was fine, and he was. It also means not putting up barriers for him.  He will have some, but it's letting him decide where they are going to be.  It's letting him and even encouraging him to step outside his comfort zone.  It's providing a varied experiences for him to see, hear, try new things.  It's always believing he can, even when he doesn't.  I know that all parents struggle with this, but I think parents of kids with special needs struggle with this even more! I have to learn to step back and encourage, because you never know when your child is going to surprise you with something amazing!!!!