Last year on our vacation we went on a Dune Buggy Ride near Silver Lake, MI. I am not sure what I was thinking it would be like, but it was like riding a roller coaster. I enjoyed it immensely, and so did both of my boys, including my kiddo with defensive SPD!!!! Had I known ahead of time what the ride was like, I know I would have vetoed the event, and kept my son from an experience he LOVED and talked about for months.
Fast forward to this year and 8 more months of therapy. My son, who still has to wear a visor when we wash his hair, learned to "swim" with his life vest on. We no longer have to hold onto him and reassure him that he will be fine, like we did 2 years ago. In fact, 2 years ago we had to drag him in the pool, crying and fussing. Just this past Saturday, he JUMPED into the 5 ft end of pool!!!!! He didn't announce it or otherwise let us know he was gonna do it, he just did it! He was wearing his vest so he popped right back up, spluttering a bit. He then happily announced I went under the water and didn't cry! No but his momma did a bit-I was so proud of him!!!! He only did it that one time, but that was one more time that I ever thought he would do! Maybe it's time to try swim lessons again?
What does all of this mean for me the momma? I am learning not to "over-protect" him. This is so hard for me to learn! When he jumped in the pool, I told my husband, who was closer to him at the time, to grab him as he came up. My husband told me to "chill out" that our son was fine, and he was. It also means not putting up barriers for him. He will have some, but it's letting him decide where they are going to be. It's letting him and even encouraging him to step outside his comfort zone. It's providing a varied experiences for him to see, hear, try new things. It's always believing he can, even when he doesn't. I know that all parents struggle with this, but I think parents of kids with special needs struggle with this even more! I have to learn to step back and encourage, because you never know when your child is going to surprise you with something amazing!!!!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Why do I second guess myself??????
Regarding the Kindergarten decision....
About a week ago the now 6 year old, came up to me and said; "Mommy, I don't think going to Kindergarten again is a good idea." WOW! I didn't really have a good answer for him so I sorta deflected it so I could consult with my husband. My awesome husband said we will just sit him down and chat with him about it again. Staying-the-course is going to be the best option for him. I agreed, but still had that nasty pit in my stomach. We hadn't found a time to sit him down, and our camping trip came up last week.
Then came the aftermath of the camping trip. It was 4 days of not-the-same routines in a new place (same pop-up, new locale). Lots of outdoor time, tempered with lots of movie watching (which is one way he self-soothes). Hiking and swimming and walking about a block to use the bathroom. A side note here, the boy has issues with interoception and will not have a bowel movement when we aren't at home or a familiar relative's house. Add that to the fun mix! Now don't get me wrong, he LOVES camping. Has a blast, but is always ready to come home and our longest trip was 5 days last summer.
Came home on Friday, and Saturday we just stayed home. I probably should have insisted on more sensory diet activities, but I thought I would let him "veg" a bit, and honestly, I wanted to too! Saturday whenever something didn't go his way he screamed(very unlike him)!!! Sunday morning I had him get himself dressed for church which he did well, until we were literally trying to walk out the door and he walked up to me with his clean underwear in his hand, and tears in his eyes. We were already running late, so I told him he would have to wait until we got home and changed into "comfy" clothes. Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth! I just became the worst mother on the planet, because I didn't let the boy change his underwear (and he had a bath the night before and went to bed with clean ones on!) He raged at me for a good 20-30 minutes. He told me that he wasn't going to hold my hand in the parking lot, and that he didn't love me or like me. Thankfully I was able to stay calm knowing what the REAL problem was. After a while in church he came and sat by me and I began applying deep pressure ;) in the form of hugs and stayed with me the whole time. By the end of the service he was calm and composed. I had thought about letting him change and being later for the service, but I thought every so often he has to learn how to deal with these things.
Back to my point about second guessing myself. I realized that I cannot send "that" child to 1st grade. The one that rages for 30+ minutes when his sensory systems are all out of whack. It is his social/emotional learning that needs another year. His cognitive ability is fine (and above normal); which is what was making me second guess myself. I know in a "perfect world" schools would be able to give my son the sensory breaks he needs, and all would be well. But the reality is that isn't the case. He is in a parochial school because the public school couldn't offer him any services; 18 months behind in gross and fine motor wasn't enough of a delay to qualify for an IEP. So he will get another year to learn how to cope with a world that is too loud, too bright, and too fast for him. And my already smart boy will be even smarter for it!!!!
And I did have the conversation with him about going to Kindergarten again. I told him that he got to do 1/2 day Kindergarten last year, and Full Day Kindergarten this coming year, and then he would go to First Grade. His issues all along was that he thought he would not ever go to First Grade. And I made a big deal out of nothing-not totally unlike my son ;)
About a week ago the now 6 year old, came up to me and said; "Mommy, I don't think going to Kindergarten again is a good idea." WOW! I didn't really have a good answer for him so I sorta deflected it so I could consult with my husband. My awesome husband said we will just sit him down and chat with him about it again. Staying-the-course is going to be the best option for him. I agreed, but still had that nasty pit in my stomach. We hadn't found a time to sit him down, and our camping trip came up last week.
Then came the aftermath of the camping trip. It was 4 days of not-the-same routines in a new place (same pop-up, new locale). Lots of outdoor time, tempered with lots of movie watching (which is one way he self-soothes). Hiking and swimming and walking about a block to use the bathroom. A side note here, the boy has issues with interoception and will not have a bowel movement when we aren't at home or a familiar relative's house. Add that to the fun mix! Now don't get me wrong, he LOVES camping. Has a blast, but is always ready to come home and our longest trip was 5 days last summer.
Came home on Friday, and Saturday we just stayed home. I probably should have insisted on more sensory diet activities, but I thought I would let him "veg" a bit, and honestly, I wanted to too! Saturday whenever something didn't go his way he screamed(very unlike him)!!! Sunday morning I had him get himself dressed for church which he did well, until we were literally trying to walk out the door and he walked up to me with his clean underwear in his hand, and tears in his eyes. We were already running late, so I told him he would have to wait until we got home and changed into "comfy" clothes. Oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth! I just became the worst mother on the planet, because I didn't let the boy change his underwear (and he had a bath the night before and went to bed with clean ones on!) He raged at me for a good 20-30 minutes. He told me that he wasn't going to hold my hand in the parking lot, and that he didn't love me or like me. Thankfully I was able to stay calm knowing what the REAL problem was. After a while in church he came and sat by me and I began applying deep pressure ;) in the form of hugs and stayed with me the whole time. By the end of the service he was calm and composed. I had thought about letting him change and being later for the service, but I thought every so often he has to learn how to deal with these things.
Back to my point about second guessing myself. I realized that I cannot send "that" child to 1st grade. The one that rages for 30+ minutes when his sensory systems are all out of whack. It is his social/emotional learning that needs another year. His cognitive ability is fine (and above normal); which is what was making me second guess myself. I know in a "perfect world" schools would be able to give my son the sensory breaks he needs, and all would be well. But the reality is that isn't the case. He is in a parochial school because the public school couldn't offer him any services; 18 months behind in gross and fine motor wasn't enough of a delay to qualify for an IEP. So he will get another year to learn how to cope with a world that is too loud, too bright, and too fast for him. And my already smart boy will be even smarter for it!!!!
And I did have the conversation with him about going to Kindergarten again. I told him that he got to do 1/2 day Kindergarten last year, and Full Day Kindergarten this coming year, and then he would go to First Grade. His issues all along was that he thought he would not ever go to First Grade. And I made a big deal out of nothing-not totally unlike my son ;)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Taking Care of #1
....or at least trying too. I have joined Weight Watchers and I am trying to ride my "new to me" bike everywhere. Why post this on my SPD blog? In order to be a better mommy to my kiddos, I need to take care of me first. I have also been doing a lot of reading about "margin". For example: ifiwriteallofthewordstogetherwithoutaspaceitisveryhardtoread!
Similar things happen when we have too much scheduled in our lives, at least that is true for me. I have been trying to release some of my commitments, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I am playing a more major role in our church's VBS. And it is the big kiddo's birthday in a week, which means a party at my house in 10 days. So mommy is on stress-overload....which makes me not such a great mommy. I have no patience, I am tired, and I have "no time" to play with the kids. Not a great combo for the SPD kiddo who is off of his normal routine, and coping with a week of VBS. Thankfully daddy is home tonight to take some of the fun (like the 2nd pair of poopy undies in 2 days from the nearly 6 year old) and put them to bed so I can blog, finish invites, and run to the store, ALONE!
Similar things happen when we have too much scheduled in our lives, at least that is true for me. I have been trying to release some of my commitments, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I am playing a more major role in our church's VBS. And it is the big kiddo's birthday in a week, which means a party at my house in 10 days. So mommy is on stress-overload....which makes me not such a great mommy. I have no patience, I am tired, and I have "no time" to play with the kids. Not a great combo for the SPD kiddo who is off of his normal routine, and coping with a week of VBS. Thankfully daddy is home tonight to take some of the fun (like the 2nd pair of poopy undies in 2 days from the nearly 6 year old) and put them to bed so I can blog, finish invites, and run to the store, ALONE!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Write this down...progress on the eating front
...oh wait I am! Last week he boy ate spinach-WILLINGLY!!!!! He helped himself to the salad bowl and put a piece on his plate. Drowned it in ranch dressing and ATE it!!!! Can you see me doing the dance of joy???? Then the next night he ate 3 pieces!!!! Holy cow!!!!! Two nights ago he ate 1 piece of steak!!! This child shuns beef, and he ate it!!!! Then to make me dance again, he ate his hot dog yesterday. This is quite the miracle for the boy who only eats McDonald's chicken nuggets, and his typical protein sources are peanut butter and dairy!!!!!
and now I do the dance of joy!!!!!!! :):):):)
and now I do the dance of joy!!!!!!! :):):):)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Not really a step back
So today I started "brushing" my son again. It has been 2 very busy weeks. He also is recovering from a cold and has problems with his allergies. He was very willing to let me start up again, as we haven't done it for 9 months! Hopefully this will help him over this "hump"
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Law of the Garbage Truck
I saw this in a friend's facebook notes....how true is it?
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!
Sensory Overload
What a week.....This past weekend we celebrated our youngest child's 3rd birthday and Easter. The beginning of the week saw me with the stomach flu, and then the day before the party my husband got it! Since I was so sick on Tuesday, I had "P" stay all day (normally a 1/2 day for him) as I didn't think I could drive to pick him up. He stayed all day on his normal Monday and Wednesday, so that made 3 in a row. Then I found out at 10 pm on Wednesday night that his Easter party at school was starting at 1:30, which is normally OT time for him. He is a 1/2 day kid on that day as well. When I asked him about it in the morning, he wasn't having anything of it. He went to school, and I packed his lunch, hoping, but alas when I called the school, they told me that he insisted that he was going home. He wouldn't even go back with me to stay with him :( At first I was sad for him, then I realized that he wasn't sad. Why should I be? I had rearranged OT for Friday and let him have some time at home. His evenings had been full with soccer practice on Monday-my hubby taking them out for dinner and errands on Tuesday, and me running my errands with them on Wednesday. He still had soccer practice on Thursday, but did just fine. Friday saw me cooking all day (and packing everything to move the party to Grandma and Grandpa's house 45 minutes away), a visit to the OT, which only really got his energy out. He was so volatile!!! Did I mention that it was cold and rainy all day too? :( Saturday he spent part of the day at a friends house to go to a classmates birthday party. It was a great idea at first as this other friend was going to take him and pick him up and I would have the last 2 hours before party to get ready with one less kid. I decided that not sending him to the party would do more harm than good, so he came fashionably late to his brother's party. Sunday was church and Easter dinner back at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Had I known what this last week would have entailed I would NOT have scheduled dentist appointments today. Oh well...not things that are easy to reschedule, so we went. And kuddos to him for doing well. He didn't like it, but tolerated it better than I thought he would have! No cavities!!! But he grinds his teeth, a lot...anyone have suggestions for that? There is no way he'd wear a mouth guard!!!!
Had I known what this last week would have entailed I would NOT have scheduled dentist appointments today. Oh well...not things that are easy to reschedule, so we went. And kuddos to him for doing well. He didn't like it, but tolerated it better than I thought he would have! No cavities!!! But he grinds his teeth, a lot...anyone have suggestions for that? There is no way he'd wear a mouth guard!!!!
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